January 2012
15 posts
Congress Members' Positions on SOPA/PIPA After the Black Out
#FactsWithoutWikipedia: Twitter Users Create Their Own Facts
With the shutdown of Wikipedia yesterday, the public at large found itself in a terrifying world without the mostly-accurate information it has grown so accustomed to.
To help others with the struggle, individuals took to Twitter, sharing all the information they could. The result was #FactsWithoutWikipedia.
See you guys? We don’t need Wikipedia! We’ve got each other.
Post by Sarie Drake
If Apple Made a Toilet: iPoo
Milos Paripovic has designed the ultimate product for Apple lovers: the iPoo Toilet.
Sync the iPoo up to your iPad, iPhone, or iPod for the ideal entertainment experience.* Don’t spend those precious hours minutes without a sleek Apple product to captivate you.
Paripovic is really poking fun at those of us who might love their Apple products a little too much. He describes the features of the toilet in his promo poster.
“This toilet has exactly the same function as any other toilet and costs only twice as much for the same performance; but you will agree it is all about style and taste, and you will look a lot cooler in your friends’ eyes.”
“Toilet seat is even thinner than the Macbook Air, and made from the same superb material, so you can wipe urine splatters just as easily.”
“Some say computer keyboards are five times dirtier than toilet seats, but our toilet seat is 5 times cleaner than computer keyboards!”
“Even though it is white and has one button, it does not mean it is an Apple product. Unlike some Apple products, this toilet fully supports Flush.”
On a side note to my readers: If you ever find yourself in a home with an iPoo toilet, please relieve yourself in the sink instead. They deserve it.
*Syncing of the iPoo to another Apple product does not include the transfer of information or materials from one technology to the other. Thank God.
Post by Sarie Drake
SEO Ryan Gosling Wants to Stuff Your Keywords
Ladies, I have been out-tumbled.
A Tumblr blog titled “Seo Ryan Gosling” is circling the lonely, blood-pumping Tilt-A-Whirls we SEO women call hearts, cardiac organs, love organs, organs of love, body clocks, tickers, vascular organs..
With charming lines like, ”Hey girl, if I had all the love in the world, I would 301 redirect it to you,” Ryan Gosling is building links and breaking hearts all over the blogosphere.
What’s that Ryry? You’ve got some sweet SEO nothings to whisper in my ear? Please, tell me how you feel..
Hey girl, you’ve deep linked to my heart, and the anchor text is “love”.
Hey girl, you’re an exact keyword match for my heart.
Hey girl, I have a lot of outbound links but you’re the only one I follow.
Hey girl, I hope you don’t mind me keyword stuffing, but I love love love love love you.
Yeah, something tells me I’m going to “reciprocate” with some “link juice”. It’s only polite, right?
Post by Sarie Drake
End of the World Event on Facebook
Ladies and gents, the end of the world is coming. Again.
This time, we’re all going to be ready. Because we’ve all been invited.
Event: The End of the World
Date: Friday, December 21, 2012
Place: Planet Earth, Every Street
Event Type: Public
Created By: God Mayanists Shane Jones
Here’s what we can take away from the diverse group of crazies that are “Attending” The End of the World Event on Facebook.
The end of the world “effects” everyone. The exception being Chuck Norris.
The event will not be catered.
This is going to be the Party-to-End-All-Parties.
The world actually ended some 40 years ago, and we’re all in a dark auditorium watching a prerecorded movie of the dreams of a dozen writers.
Post by Sarie Drake
Twitter 2012: Gaga, Goals, and Good Riddance
While Christmas was focused on terrible children and horrible expectations, this New Year has provided us with a wonderful perspective of even more ridiculous tweets regarding New Year’s resolutions.
First up…
Well, if this has anything to do with the Mayan’s prediction of the world ending, then I totally believe that “GaGa” is the anti-Christ. Her newest song “Stuck On F**king You” is an ode to my eardrums and senses. Not because I enjoy it, but because I think her mission is to make me blow out my hearing capabilities due to her terrible music.
So yeah, I’m welcoming the end of days.
Olivia Munn took time out of her schedule to make a resolution that will surely be broken after she reads the pilot script for whatever terrible show she tries to “star” in next.
I’ve actually got a team of ex-roommates who vow to watch her every interview and media appearance to see if she keeps good on this promise. (All they need for payment are breadsticks and a copy of the Maxim she appeared on.)
Well, this deep. How do I know? Because if you can’t pronounce the name of the person you’re quoting, that sh*t is serious.
Hey, it’s 2012 and there are still Mean Girls references? Was there even a Twitter when this movie came out? Nothing this old should be on Twitter. Oh wait…
This account is one of the best. Period.
Yes, this is an endorsement. I don’t care.
You know you love it, Tumblr.
The World Champ (even in 2012?) brings safety tips to a whole new level.
You see, a vehicle and a body can be repaired. But a text that says
“I want to do you to ‘Mistletoe’ by Justin Bieber when the ball drops.”
instead of your intended message of
“Yeah, I’d love to go to Grandma’s for Sunday brunch.”
is one I never want to send my mother again.
One of the oldest men on Twitter (85) resolves to learn an instrument and create art. I own a guitar and an Etch-A-Sketch; everything I do sounds like someone “chopped and screwed” a Plain White Tees cover song. Or looks like a child got angry with his first can of play dough.
This guy is awesome. TREAT YO SELF Tony Bennett!
And just for fun, let’s see what a Kardashian is saying about the New Year…
Oh EFF YOU. The one time I actually WANT you to spout off nonsense, you make sense.
Happy New Year Everybody.
Guest Post by Patrick Higgins – Comedian, SEO @mainstreethost
Backgrounds Remind You That iPhone Joy is Terminable
Owning an iPhone can change your life. Many of us know this all too well. And while the ecstasy of lightning-speed response time and unlimited applications makes trips to the bathroom more entertaining* than the Broadway revival of Hair, some people believe that it’s important to be rational when falling in love with one’s iPhone.
*Unless you’re the one waiting to use the bathroom. In that instance, you wish your roommate would accidentally drop his iPhone into that toilet. ’Cuz a lady needs to brush her tooth, okay?
Nico Ordozgoiti’s “Truth Hurts” campaign asks that iPhone users be reasonable with their device admiration.
Ordozgoiti says,
“Sure, having an iPhone is pretty cool, but there are a couple of catches to it. I designed these wallpapers to keep that in mind.”
Yeah, but so will my grandma, so..
If you waited for hours in line to receive your iPhone, you probably don’t have any friends anyway.
Silver lining? You’re welcome.
The truth hurts. Also, you’re poor.
In this case the truth doesn’t hurt for long. Because maybe you just got owned Meet Joe Black style. And in that case, you’re dead.
Yeah, but so will my grandma, so..
Click any image to download the specific background. Enjoy!
Post by Sarie Drake
